The Superwoman Complex

Well it is that time of year again where we all make promises to ourselves to be thinner, richer, more fun, have more friends and so the list goes. We all know that these resolutions DON'T WORK.  at the end of the first week of the year we have abandoned the ideas that we had and we go back to our normal, self destructive and mundane routines..it sucks, makes us feel bad and leaves us waiting till next year to make the same resolutions.  The exact same ones. This year I challenge the 10 people who read my blog to set goals that they can be held accountable for.  This means a couple of things. Number one, you have to have a plan.  An actual plan, like on paper.  Number two, you have to have a due date, not some ambiguous place in time.  Number three, you have to tell someone and partner with them to reach your goal. Number One: Have a Plan It is not enough to have a resolution, or even a goal if there is no plan in place.  A goal without a plan is...

Tomorrow I will be coordinating a video shoot.  Leading up to this shoot I had to write scripts, recruit and wrangle talent, coordinate time and location and all with little direction.  I've never completed any of these tasks before, and the task seemed a little overwhelming at first. As I wait with bated breath for tomorrow to be completed successfully (I hope), I look back at the last week and a half and think "how did I get through this"?  Well, I'll tell you how, I faked it. I'm  not implying that it is OK to lie and say that you have done something that you haven't or that you have a skill set you do not posses, but if you are tasked with something you do not feel confident with, fake it. I have had several scenarios and tasks come to me in my professional life that I was unaccustomed to, and in some cases had no clue where to begin.  What I have experienced is that to gain confidence in something that seem daunting, attacking the task as if you were a ...

I struggled with how and if to tackle this topic. It is a departure from the usual workplace and parenting messages I usually send, but it is weighing heavily on my heart, and I feel that it is something I have to address. I am struggling with two very strong emotions surrounding the San Bernardino shootings.  I am struggling with Fear and Disappointment.  My family and I went to a Christmas Lights and Candlelight walk celebration this weekend and instead of thoroughly enjoying this gathering of 9,000 community members joined in peace, I was looking over my shoulder with a looming sense of anxiety.  There have been terrorist attacks before and I always felt safe, but this time it's personal. My hometown is San Bernardino.  I grew up there and those streets are more than familiar to me. I worked several times in the Outback Steakhouse where employees were on lock down and shots were heard from inside, and yes, I knew one of the 14.  When something like this h...

I struggle with mom guilt- there I said it, out loud, for all to hear.  I struggle with feeling like I can't do things to further myself outside of caring for my child and my family.  Everything feels harder with a small one doesn't it?  Committing to events, volunteering, making friends/momlationships as Melanie Dale calls them, even completing schoolwork all seems harder when you have this little person who wants to play or snuggle. I work out of the home and leave at 6:30 am. This puts my child in daycare for roughly 10-11 hours a day....talk about mom guilt.  The thing is that he doesn't mind it.  He loves to play and learn with his friends. It is much harder on me than it is on him....much! As a doctoral student, I often skirt academic responsibility to hang out with my little man.  I don't have to, he is content to watch his shows next to me on the couch as long as he knows I'm near.  How many times to we put off our dreams and aspiration...