The Superwoman Complex

I have this best friend, and worst enemy.  This frenemy has been with me for the majority of my life. She was there in junior high when she called me fat, she was there as I suffered through bulimia and believed that I would never be pretty or worthy of a relationship. She has been in every single one of my relationships, friend or other. She was with me through my divorce when I lost most of my friends.  She tells me that I need constant attention and that I cannot be content if I am alone.  She judges my parenting and tells me all about the perfect moms out there who are doing it right, while I am flailing. She tells me I'll never finish my dissertation. She tells me that I shouldn't talk to people because they will not like me.  She is my constant companion and she feeds off of my fear. She tells me that self-medication will make me feel better and then riddles me with guilt the next day. She tells me I'm needy, she tells me I am a bad person, she tells me I'm sel...

Sometimes life just sucks you know.  You have these preconceived ideas about what your life is going to be like "when you grow up" and rarely do those plans come to fruition. We get caught up in this idea of contentment and success and when life doesn't go our way we consider ourselves failures. We compare ourselves to the social media versions of people we don't even know. The truth is NONE of us are as we portray ourselves to be. We are all facing unspeakable struggles and none of us can claim that our lives are the way we ideally pictured them.   I am here to say to all of you who are living the life you didn't picture.....I see you. I see you mommas who didn't plan to have your little or the multiple littles, therefore thwarting their plans to continue school, work your corporate job, become Miss America... I see you sister who didn't plan on being a single parent....I see you brother who tried with all your might but just couldn't make it work, I ...