The Superwoman Complex

So I want to start this post by saying a big huge thank you to those of you who read my rants and comment on them either publicly or privately.  Thanks to you who read and don't comment.  Thanks to you who read at all. I started this blog a little over three years ago to express my journey towards becoming an accredited scholar while juggling life.  That journey continues with some failures and some wins along the way, and for all of you who have followed the journey, whether I know you personally or not, you are a part of my clan. So, lets talk about how this commitment to self is going since I know that you are all on the edge of your seats awaiting an update.  It's going well.  I have adhered to my separation from my wine, and I have learned that it is not hard to give up.  I enjoy more productivity, more stable moods and a higher sense of self worth because the shame that I associated with alcohol consumption has subdued.  I have kept my commitment to connection to spirit

So in my last posting I spoke of a goal I had to post a 4 part series on commitment.  So I plan to do so.  In brainstorming these posts (which consists of my mind wandering a million different directions at the most inopportune times) I came up with the 4 following compartments of commitment that speak to my particular season of life. First and foremost I have made a commitment to self:  personally, spiritually and physically. Commitment to my people, my clan:  This includes my husband, my little man, my extended family and my friends past present and future. Commitment to my community:  More needs to be done in my life to foster community and service to those around me.  This goes hand in hand with my commitment to my clan. Commitment to Work and Education:  I lump these two together because they take almost equal effort lately and both are full time.  These are the areas that I feel need a deeper level of commitment from me in my current season.  Your season may be differen

How do you cope with a large disappointment? The worry over a child's health? Feelings of inadequacy and guilt, often for things you haven't even done? I'm not asking rhetorical questions....I'm seeking advice.  You see this year was going to be year that I planned to THRIVE.  I would turn in my dissertation proposal to rave reviews, I would be considered the best wife, mother, friend and family member ever. I was going to conquer mom guilt and be the fittest, funnest, most honest version of me. Well four days into the new year and I am already exhausted, deflated and have broken all of the promises I have made to myself. On the second day of the year I opened my email at a stoplight (I know terrible) on my way to a hair appointment.  I was greeted with the devastating news that my committee member thought that my dissertation proposal was NOWHERE NEAR where it needed to be to submit to the review boards. The floodgates opened and I arrived to my hair appointment with