Commitment to my Clan
So I want to start this post by saying a big huge thank you to those of you who read my rants and comment on them either publicly or privately. Thanks to you who read and don't comment. Thanks to you who read at all. I started this blog a little over three years ago to express my journey towards becoming an accredited scholar while juggling life. That journey continues with some failures and some wins along the way, and for all of you who have followed the journey, whether I know you personally or not, you are a part of my clan.
So, lets talk about how this commitment to self is going since I know that you are all on the edge of your seats awaiting an update. It's going well. I have adhered to my separation from my wine, and I have learned that it is not hard to give up. I enjoy more productivity, more stable moods and a higher sense of self worth because the shame that I associated with alcohol consumption has subdued. I have kept my commitment to connection to spiritual growth in the form of quiet time, and Jen Hatmaker. I have also kept true to my diet and am happy to report that I am 5lbs lighter and healthier as a result. I did not join a fitness group to hold myself accountable, but that was an administrative issue that I have already planned around for the month of February.
So my next commitment is to my clan, my peeps, my tribe. This is composed on the people who are privileged (ahem) enough to be in my life. That is of course said in jest. I commend those who surround me in love and put up with my tomfoolery and nonsense. I realize the need to make more of an effort to lavish them with as much as they lavish me.
I am not the best wife. I do not laugh at all of my husbands jokes, I often jump to conclusions before I hear his entire message, and I will admit it, sometimes I don't REALLY listen to what he is saying. I have taken some inventory the last couple of weeks and need to apologize for the lack of engagement he has received. There are a million excuses for not really paying attention to the ones we love. My main excuse is that I am tired man, really, really, really tired. Case in point: yesterday my husband asked me to help him with a professional biography, I of course said sure haphazardly, but cautioned that I had things I needed to get done first. I thought about that today and realized that nothing was too time consuming or that much of priority that I couldn't take a couple of minutes to draft something out for him. So I'm sorry hubby. I commit to being a better listener and thinking before I react.
I am a terrible listener when it comes to my child, I mean TERRIBLE. My first instinct is to placate or react without really hearing what he is trying to tell me. Of course this is made more difficult by his ability to speak Blakenese, but I should even understand that by now. I commit to listening to my child without reaction and with a preponderance before a reaction.
My friends, extended family and coworkers....oh you have it the worst. I apologize for "fitting you in" to my hectic schedule, you all deserve so much more than that. I commit to making time for you all whether just a message to say I am thinking of you, a coffee date, a child circus meet up (I mean the children are the circus, not actually going to the circus cause......clowns are creepy) or even a call more often than on your birthday. Please be patient with me because sometimes I just have massive brain hemorage, and I forget to be thoughtful, mindful and considerate. If you often invite me places, and I enthusiastically say maybe, but dont attend, please don't count me out. I commit to following through with these maybes, and turning them into enthusiastic yes's. Thank you to all who work with me and have to deal with 8+ hours a day, I commit to being a team player and a good listener.
My clan, my kinsman/kinswomen, my tribe,my home skillets....I appreciate and love you!
So, lets talk about how this commitment to self is going since I know that you are all on the edge of your seats awaiting an update. It's going well. I have adhered to my separation from my wine, and I have learned that it is not hard to give up. I enjoy more productivity, more stable moods and a higher sense of self worth because the shame that I associated with alcohol consumption has subdued. I have kept my commitment to connection to spiritual growth in the form of quiet time, and Jen Hatmaker. I have also kept true to my diet and am happy to report that I am 5lbs lighter and healthier as a result. I did not join a fitness group to hold myself accountable, but that was an administrative issue that I have already planned around for the month of February.
So my next commitment is to my clan, my peeps, my tribe. This is composed on the people who are privileged (ahem) enough to be in my life. That is of course said in jest. I commend those who surround me in love and put up with my tomfoolery and nonsense. I realize the need to make more of an effort to lavish them with as much as they lavish me.
I am not the best wife. I do not laugh at all of my husbands jokes, I often jump to conclusions before I hear his entire message, and I will admit it, sometimes I don't REALLY listen to what he is saying. I have taken some inventory the last couple of weeks and need to apologize for the lack of engagement he has received. There are a million excuses for not really paying attention to the ones we love. My main excuse is that I am tired man, really, really, really tired. Case in point: yesterday my husband asked me to help him with a professional biography, I of course said sure haphazardly, but cautioned that I had things I needed to get done first. I thought about that today and realized that nothing was too time consuming or that much of priority that I couldn't take a couple of minutes to draft something out for him. So I'm sorry hubby. I commit to being a better listener and thinking before I react.
I am a terrible listener when it comes to my child, I mean TERRIBLE. My first instinct is to placate or react without really hearing what he is trying to tell me. Of course this is made more difficult by his ability to speak Blakenese, but I should even understand that by now. I commit to listening to my child without reaction and with a preponderance before a reaction.
My friends, extended family and coworkers....oh you have it the worst. I apologize for "fitting you in" to my hectic schedule, you all deserve so much more than that. I commit to making time for you all whether just a message to say I am thinking of you, a coffee date, a child circus meet up (I mean the children are the circus, not actually going to the circus cause......clowns are creepy) or even a call more often than on your birthday. Please be patient with me because sometimes I just have massive brain hemorage, and I forget to be thoughtful, mindful and considerate. If you often invite me places, and I enthusiastically say maybe, but dont attend, please don't count me out. I commit to following through with these maybes, and turning them into enthusiastic yes's. Thank you to all who work with me and have to deal with 8+ hours a day, I commit to being a team player and a good listener.
My clan, my kinsman/kinswomen, my tribe,my home skillets....I appreciate and love you!
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