The Superwoman Complex

This week gave me a lot of changes both elating and terrifying. With the help of my caring Ex I leased a new car, giving me a car payment for the first time in 5 years.  We transitioned to the split custody of our son, and my son met a new friend (mommy's friend).  All of these changes were scary....bittersweet.  As I sat signing the paperwork for my new car, which I love, I couldn't control the tears, and they fell freely. I mourned the loss of my car that drove my baby since he was one year old.  The vehicle that took him to his first day of pre-school and Kindergarten.  I mourned the time I would no longer spend arguing with him to do his homework or get ready for bed.  And I realized how this was the end of my old life, the actual end.   I know that change is necessary sometime, but you can't help but mourn what was. I think that change is something that we fear because it is something that we cannot control. We can certainly try, but change will still come.  It is t

Then surely I am merely 21 with 18 years of experience right? I am having a hard time believing that in 3 days I will have a six year old, and in 5 short days I will be 40.....WHAT?! How in the actual hell did this happen?!  The good news is that I MOSTLY don't feel 40.  I do what I can to stay healthy, and I am sure that running after that lil ball of energy doesn't hurt anything.  What do you do to stay young? I will have 2 announcements the day after my birthday, so you will want to stay tuned, but for today I want to talk to you about something I am trying to learn right now, and that is setting personal boundaries. I am the queen of "I can do it". Doesn't matter what it is, I am confident that I can do it, and I can do it ALL BY MYSELF.....do I sound like my 6 year old, or what?! I say yes far more than I should, and I offer help, when in all  honesty, I have no business helping.  I want to be available to those I love, but I am learning that there is onl

You readers who have been with me awhile have read about my epic emotional breakdowns, my "hilarious to everyone but me" calamities and my downright ugly crying failures. I am not good with failure and life transitions, I don't know many who are. And.....So.......again..... I'm entering another transition in life, the true single parent transition complete with the relinquishing of bedtime stories two weeks of the month.  I also coupled this with the failure to submit a suitable proposal to continue the dissertation process. So I did what any rational girl would do....I had a full on cry it out, lose myself in emotion, over analyze to the point of exhaustion breakdown. I wouldn't say it was the worst breakdown I've ever had, but it was a decent one.  There were a couple of individuals that made this one an easier pill to swallow.  One offered some straight talk that I needed to hear, some advice that I didn't take and most importantly a new perspective.