It's not Goodbye, it's See you Soon



I got a whole five exits from the restaurant before the tears started to involuntarily fall.  The restaurant where I had a wonderful dinner with one of my best friends for the last time for a little while.  It's fitting that the place we had our "see you later" meal was the same place where a few short months ago she told me she was moving with her family to Pittsburgh. For those who know me, you know that I am a fairly guarded person. I keep my cards close and I don't let many people in.  Most of my "friendships" are surface level and that is something that I am not proud of.  But every now and then someone breaks through, and there is risk involved in letting that occur.  In this case that risk is and was and will continue to be well worth it.

On the way home I had an ironic  (ironic because of who the conversation was with) and poignant (also poignant because of who the conversation was with) conversation about the risk of letting people in.  The conversation went a little something like this (paraphrasing to protect the innocent....mainly me).

Wise Friend: Losing a bestie is never good timing
Unwise Me: Well that is the risk you take by letting people in
blah blah blah blah babble that is only meaningful to me.......
Wise Friend: Well what's the alternative, Fall off the bike and never ride the bike again
Unwise Me: No, you have to keep riding, just with a lot more padding, and a much heartier helmet
Wise Friend: (Slapping me in the face with truth) Well that's not riding.....(Mic Drop)

I'm not losing my person....I never was, but the course of our friendship will shift some due to changing life circumstances. The path we are riding on will take  a different course.  This has happened several times in my life with my closest of friends.  I have my people, my tribe scattered across the country. I go many months, sometimes years without talking to those closest to my heart.  They are in Dallas, Chicago and Canton, scattered along the California coastline and now Pittsburg, but they all reserve a special place in my heart.  True, my Colorado person will not be with me, and she will now be my Pittsburgh person, but it will make our times together that much sweeeter, our conversations that much more important and maybe, just maybe it will force me to open up myself a little more to let new people in.

I have learned that no one can ever be replaced in your heart, but as some people move a little farther away, it is almost as if they stretch your heart a little more.  Little by little the barriers break and you are more open to let people in where maybe you wouldn't have done so before.

Take care friends.  I love you all.

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