The Superwoman Complex

As someone who struggles with social anxiety, it is easy to feel disconnected.  I have reached a point earlier this week when I felt disconnected at work, within my church, with my friends, and even at home.  Part of this may indeed be due to exhaustion and those pesky expectations that I mentioned in a previous post, but some of it is indeed that I was not connected to myself. I recently received a link that I will share from a friend of mine named Lisa Ross.  I was looking for a way to disconnect to the busyness of life and connect, even for 10 brief minutes, with myself.  I was successful in meditation for one day....and then life took over again.  I allowed myself to take things personally and I forgot my goal...to connect with myself.  Other people have busy lives as well, and their lack of connection has nothing to do with me at all.  There are times when I forget to reach out to others, even when I know they are in need, because I have so much ...

Well it has been a busy leave of absense for me, but it is time to hit the books again. Next Tuesday I will resume my title of doctoral student....meaning, that I will get even less sleep than I get now!!! YAY!!!! In all seriousness I am excited to get back to it, it seems as if I have been slacking, ha ha ha. My little monster gave everyone his cold, which is one of the joys of parenting.  My husband of course spent all day in bed yesterday hamming it up and letting me wait on him hand and foot (this is what husbands do). As a mom and wife we fall naturally into the nurturing role without even noticing, until a week later we are still hacking away, and performing our normal duties, while they are fit as fiddles.  This isn't their fault, it is ours.  We feel the need to take care of everyone except for ourselves.  This has got to stop!! At least for me it does. We also converted the babies bed into his big boy toddler bed last night.  It took him an ho...

I had the weekend all planned out.  I was cooking breakfast in bed for the hubby, we were going to the Science Museum with some friends, karaoke at night and then to the bounce house place on Sunday.  Husband comes home Friday night and informs me that we will be babysitting another one year old on Sundy...ok bounce house is out, Saturday still sounds like a great family fun day......then as the bacon is in the oven and I am getting the eggs out of the fridge I hear my uncle call from the basement.....water is pouring out of our stairwell (where the main water line terminates), and there is standing water everywhere in the hallway of the basement. Plans cancelled!! I let this ruin my whole day.  I felt defeated and depressed.  We cleaned up the mess and by 1pm we were bound for a family lunch out and then some time at the park.  It was too late for me though.  I was joyless. I have an expectation issue. I am sure that all of us over acheiving moms have ...

I have been doing  a lot of work on me recently.  I took a leave of absense to get through the holiday's but got through so much more.  I am 11 days into a health challenge that I never thought I would have the will power for, and I am attempting to build new relationships with people who will compliment me and my new life, not hinder it and judge me. I will always be a work in progress, but I keep moving forward and I try not to settle or get too comfortable.  I want to help others to realize their potential as well. My biggest struggle right now is to get over this idea that others have put into my head. That I am selfish.  In some ways it is good to have this said to me, and about me, because it makes me more conscious of others. I have been walking around in a bit of a fuzzy haze since Blake was born.  I don't remember facts, details or names the way I used to.  He takes most of my energy and most of my brain power.  I am however starting to...

I wasn't at church last Sunday due to a sick kiddo, but I know that our pastor said in so many words to leave the baggage of 2012 in 2012 and concentrate on 2013.  Awesome advice, but very hard to do.  This year will be the year that I try to let go of the past, relationships, friendships, issues, baggage and problems. It will be my ultimate goal to conciously communicate.  I have noticed that since having my son I communicate superficially.  I no longer remember names the way that I used to, I do not remember conversations that I have with people unless there is something said that I find significant.  That needs to change.  I cannot expect to have meaningful relationships and friendships if I am not really listening.  I found that I try to relay the most information in the shortest amount of time and I never stop to ask questions of anyone else.  I need to slow down and really engage in conversations instead of trying to get them over wit...