I am....and I am not

I haven't written much lately, mostly because the division in our country has been a bit overwhelming. I haven't written because I am saddened by the state of our human race and what we have become, but mostly I haven't written lately because there are more important things to talk about than whether a hateful man can build a wall, strip away healthcare for millions or take revert women back to oppressive times past.  What is more important is deciding who we are and who we are not, and not being swayed by media, peers, family or friends. I struggle with writing this post because it tells anyone reading exactly where I stand on controversial issues, where they may not usually be able to figure it out.  It makes me vulnerable, and may change the way some view me.  It is how I feel and where I stand, and although it is scary, it is who I am....and who I am not.

I am a Christian, I believe in a God who loves me and loves us all.  I am a lover of all races, and feel that all races make poor choices out of fear.  I believe minorities have bared the weight of those fears for far too long, and have been pushed to seek action in order to be heard. I believe that people have been exonerated based on skin color because fear says that if they are not, the fiber of our nation will unravel.  I believe that God calls me love all races, all walks of life within those races.

I am a Christian, and I love my LGBTQ brothers and sisters as equals.  Some of my best friends thrive living these lifestyles and show more compassion towards human kind than anyone I know. I believe they deserve the same rights and privileges as anyone else.  I believe they can show love just as well, and in some cases far better than most people I have met.

I am a Christian and I believe all life has value, however I do not believe I have any right, nor does any other man or woman, to tell someone else what they should do with their body. I believe this is a very personal decision between that person and God. God may choose to use one persons experience to help another person. I know I was thankful to have the choice, and it is no ones right to refuse that choice to another person.

I want to love the way Jesus loved, irrationally and without prejudice.  I want my friends to know they come into my friendship with no expectations and no judgement. I want them to understand that no matter where they've been or what they go through,  they will always be my friend. I want to know that I am loved for who I am, not for what I try to be.  I want them to love my wine drinking, moodiness and my need for words of affirmation, if they are going to love me, I want them to love all of me, good bad and ugly.

I am not perfect, I am not even close.  I often fail, I often make terrible choices and self medicate.  I don't extend grace the way I should and I wall up my heart.  I am not God, and it is not my place to say who can come to the table and who should stay away. I don't want that kind of responsibility and I'm am thankful not to have even a sliver. People may see me as a hypocrite, I sometimes drink too much, I'm covered in tattoos, I hang around all walks of life and listen to that darn rock music.  I represent different groups of people in my life, and I make no apologies for being a part of a wide network of amazing people.  I love them all, and I am proud to be a member of each of their tribes.

If we all tried to love each other exactly the way we are, we would have no division.  There would be no fear, but that is not the way of the world. It has never been the way of the world and it never will be, but if within our own circles and communities, we can act a bit more humane, our corner of the world can be a far better place to live.

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