I Have That Kid
If you are a parent, you know that kid. The one kid who defies his/her parents, who talks back and doesn't listen, who takes things without asking and makes messes without any desire to pick things up. You know the kid who throws horrendous tantrums and defies everyone and everything, who interrupts when grown ups are talking. This kid hits friends and throws things in rage. You may judge the parents thinking "why can't they control their kid", "why aren't they disciplining him/her", "they must not be good parents, my child never acts that bad". While it is so tempting to have these thoughts, if you could really spend one day in the life of that parent, with THAT child, you may have a different perspective.
I am the mother of THAT kid. He has at least one referral a week and has been suspended four times this year. He's 5 and in kindergarten. I get almost daily calls from his school and at home he is also hard to manage, many times bringing me to the end of the night in tears. He is the sweetest child but also a big challenge. He is incredibly smart, and equally as stubborn. Vastly independent and completely clingy. He gives me a run for my money every single day, and I wouldn't trade him for the world.
Most days I feel like a failure. I spend a lot of time feeling guilty that I am not "fixing" him. We are in therapy, we try coping mechanisms, behavior plans and cause and effect modeling. Still he throws things at school, such as hockey pucks, hitting other children. He runs away from authority, talks back and seems to defy boundaries. Most days I feel helpless and defeated, and I wonder what more I could be doing. I feel bad for the teachers that I know work with him daily, and hope that they understand that we are not parents that don't care, we try to be better every single day. I feel bad for the parents who get the call that their child has been hurt by mine, and I wonder if they consider me a bad parent because the pattern has not ceased. I feel overwhelmed by the fact that this amazing and sweet child is stressed and struggling and nothing that I do seems to soothe him and make him feel secure.
I want to tell those parents to please understand that my child is the most caring little boy, he just doesn't know how to control his emotions. I want to tell them that we are trying, very hard, everyday to make him feel safe and secure so that he doesn't lash out and lose his temper. I want to tell them that I am sorry that their child has THAT kid in their class, but THAT kid is actually really amazing.
My child is not autistic, abused, or trauma ridden. He has not had a rough childhood and he is extremely loved by all of the people in his life. He is not from a drug household, a poor household or a home with overwhelming obstacles. We are still working through the behavior issues, but we hope that he will not be THAT kid for much longer. I hope that those who encounter him can see him for who he really is: an incredibly smart, loving, kind kid who wants to help everyone around him, but gets frustrated easily and loses his temper. I hope they see how much he loves to laugh and make others laugh. He loves to perform and wants to make others happy. I hope that they do not see him just as "THAT" kid.
I am the mother of THAT kid. He has at least one referral a week and has been suspended four times this year. He's 5 and in kindergarten. I get almost daily calls from his school and at home he is also hard to manage, many times bringing me to the end of the night in tears. He is the sweetest child but also a big challenge. He is incredibly smart, and equally as stubborn. Vastly independent and completely clingy. He gives me a run for my money every single day, and I wouldn't trade him for the world.
Most days I feel like a failure. I spend a lot of time feeling guilty that I am not "fixing" him. We are in therapy, we try coping mechanisms, behavior plans and cause and effect modeling. Still he throws things at school, such as hockey pucks, hitting other children. He runs away from authority, talks back and seems to defy boundaries. Most days I feel helpless and defeated, and I wonder what more I could be doing. I feel bad for the teachers that I know work with him daily, and hope that they understand that we are not parents that don't care, we try to be better every single day. I feel bad for the parents who get the call that their child has been hurt by mine, and I wonder if they consider me a bad parent because the pattern has not ceased. I feel overwhelmed by the fact that this amazing and sweet child is stressed and struggling and nothing that I do seems to soothe him and make him feel secure.
I want to tell those parents to please understand that my child is the most caring little boy, he just doesn't know how to control his emotions. I want to tell them that we are trying, very hard, everyday to make him feel safe and secure so that he doesn't lash out and lose his temper. I want to tell them that I am sorry that their child has THAT kid in their class, but THAT kid is actually really amazing.
My child is not autistic, abused, or trauma ridden. He has not had a rough childhood and he is extremely loved by all of the people in his life. He is not from a drug household, a poor household or a home with overwhelming obstacles. We are still working through the behavior issues, but we hope that he will not be THAT kid for much longer. I hope that those who encounter him can see him for who he really is: an incredibly smart, loving, kind kid who wants to help everyone around him, but gets frustrated easily and loses his temper. I hope they see how much he loves to laugh and make others laugh. He loves to perform and wants to make others happy. I hope that they do not see him just as "THAT" kid.
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