Keep on Going....No Matter What

As I end week 5 of my third dissertation class, I am beginning to panic! I had a major week of personal....just personal. I haven't slept in 8 days and as I went to finish my elevator speech and go to record it I......just.....could......not. I will be a day late on this  assignment and will record it in all my exhausted glory, with my baggy eyes, still fresh from tears and exhaustion.  This is particularly frustrating for me as I finish a micro learning course on public speaking.

 I started the process of going through edits and while I am hopeful that I will have this proposal "mostly" ready for submittal, I worry that I will be soooo close, just not close enough.  Sadly, I am pouring out of a cup that is experiencing serious drought, and I am just so discouraged with myself.  I want to write every day, I want to be diligent and fight the good fight, but I am exhausted. The business of kid going back to school, divorce,  trying to be it all, the murder of a friend and mentor....all of these things have zapped my gumption.  I am just so tired. But I am trying, I am trying to fight the good fight and keep on keeping on. 

 I remember starting this journey, everything in life was easy breezy.  I flew past my MBA with complete ease, I thought, Oh I have got this~! MAN am I humbled, and MAN has life kicked my ass these past two years. I am listening to this podcast from Jen Hatmaker and she asks this question each time, "What has saved your life"? Holy Moly! What has saved my life the last two years of HELL. 

 1. My faith: If I did not have the support of my GOD I would literally not be here today. I have gone through it these couple of years....man gone through it...but God get's me through 100% percent of the days.
2. My Family: No literally, my parents literally made it possible for me to carry on.  They made it financially possible for me to finish this journey....wow so grateful, so humbled.  My grams who reaches out so faithfully, I'm so sorry I am just too overwhelmed so much of the time. 
3.  Coffee: Coffee has become my life force.  I don't have the ability to function without the bean juice.
4. Certain friends: they kinda know who they are.  The girlfriend I thought I'd lost forever has come back with a force, the favorite who grounds me as equally as he drives me crazy, the friends who just diligently call me every couple of weeks, even when they know I won't call them back. 
5. My work tribe: Man I am sooooo lucky. I have this group of people I work with, who literally just...get...me....through it. I am sooo very blessed to do this work thing with these people.
6. My baby boy: my purpose, my reason for living.  He drives me crazy and gives me my most amazing joy. 
7. my co-parent: this may sound very counter-intuitive, but man, I am lucky to have my son's father.  It has been a hard road, but it doesn't have to be ugly you guys.  He still makes me a bit crazy, but I am so glad he's the father he is.

 Just keep doing it friends. We do HARD things, just keep on with it. 

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