The Superwoman Complex

It is that time of year when we reflect on all the things that we choose to ignore for the rest of the year...the things that we are thankful for.  The rest of the year is spent on complaints and poor me's but for one month we look at all we have, and for once (even if it's fleeting), we are content. It would be much more productive to remember this everyday of the year, however this is not easy to do.  It is easier to want more, complain more, be more dissatisfied....after all we are the society of more.  I for one do not need more, well maybe more sleep, but otherwise I am beyond content with what I have. Every year Facebook is the  forum for so many to play the Thankful game, where the participants choose one thing to remember to be thankful for until Thanksgiving day. Last year I participated to what ended up in disastrous events and the loss of a 20 year plus friendship (that was the beginning of the end, not the sole reason for it). I realized that it meant...

Funny how it takes a cold to know me on my butt and back into a blog post.  It has been awhile my friends, but things are moving along.  So far 3 courses down and 4 more to go till year 2 residency.  Time is ticking away.  There have been many obstacles in time management, the most pending of course is a one year old who has hit his terrible two's early, and does not sleep through the night. I have been spending a considerable time thinking about the dissertation process, and every part of it terrifies me.  I think it is time to choose a panel, or at least to start selling myself (not in the way some of you are thinking).  I have decided on a few people to solicit for interviews and more to solicit for a questionnaire sample.  The most terrifying part of the process is converting the data collected into an intelligent statistical summary and then translating that summary into a paper that doesn't bore the average reader to tears.  I also have to...

I have learned a lot about myself and about others the last couple of months.  I have learned those who I thought were the strongest, have the same insecurities as I do.  I learned that if someone is meant to be in your life, they will always manifest themselves in some way.  I've learned that sometimes it is better to just let someone go their own way, even if that way is away from you, so that the next person can come into your life. Last month I had the opportunity to spend a weekend in Vegas with one of my very special girlfriends.  The weekend did not go as planned.  I am officially far to old for Vegas, and my struggle with social anxiety manifested itself in a huge way,  but a lot came out of the weekend in hindsight.  I know that my friend will always be there for me, and that I will always be there for her.  I do not have to worry that after 20 some odd years of friendship she will decide I am a bad friend, and decide that she does...

"I want to be 125 lbs by the time I go to Vegas for my girlfriends bachelorette party".  Sounds reasonable right?  What I don't tell you is that my girlfriends bachelorette party is in two weeks and I have 15 lbs to go.  All of the sudden that reasonable goal doesn't seem so reasonable.  So why do we make such heartbreaking goals, knowing that the outcome will only be disappointing. In my personal life, I have taken to making S.M.A.R.T goals.  I am a busy professional, a full time student, the mother of a toddler, the wife of a wonderful man, a friend, a housekeeper, and whatever myriad of hats fall on my head at that given moment.  S.M.A.R.T goals help me to compartmentalize personal, professional, and scholastic goals. What is a S.M.A.R.T goal?  S pecific M easurable A ttainable R ealistic T imely ( http://topachievement.com/smart.html )  For example:  My goal above is to lose 15 lbs in two weeks.  A S.M.A.R.T goal ...

Residency Lessons Learned Bite off more than you can chew, then chew it.  - Ella Williams             The doctoral process is one of self-discovery and purpose.   There are many factors that lead to the possibility of withdrawal.   Many doctoral learners find that they are overwhelmed by course load; they have feelings of inadequacy, and isolation (West, Gokalp, Gokce & Edlyn, 2011). There are personal biases and assumptions that doctoral students have about the process, the program, and the types of community they will be entering into.             Through the doctoral residency program, I have learned three major life lessons.   While these three lessons are dominant, they are not inclusive.   This personal reflection will discuss lessons learned in regards to: 1.       The Doctoral Dissertation timeline and ...

As you can see, it has been incredibly difficult to keep up with the blog as of late.  Partly because I have not allowed myself to find balance, partly because I am still sleep deprived.  With a move on the horizon, the new job and school, it is a wonder that I even made it here to AZ for my residency.  It is sad that it took a trip for study for me to slow down. The last two months have been a whirlwind of experiences. I ended my 14 and a half year career with Outback Steakhouse on Mother's day.  This was a bittersweet day which ended and era in my life.  My new position is much less social, and much more formal than my previous. This is both a positive and a negative for me.  I have in essense lost my childhood best friend, who has decided not to be in my life any longer through misscommunications on both of our parts. Even with this sadness, I am the happiest that I have been.  I am enjoying my studies, as I learn about transformational lea...

Everyone has dreams....some are small and some are crazy big.  Some people dream of being famous, some of being a parent, some of graduating college, and some just dream of a better life than they one they have today. There are some who never see their dreams become reality, not because they dreamed too big, but because they gave up on the dream somewhere along the way. Maybe everyone needs a dream fairy.  A person who helps you remember what your dreams are, and helps you in every way they can to achieve them.  I personally know a dream fairy, her name is Laura and she dedicates her life to helping other people's dreams come to fruition.  She is helping friends achieve fame, success and self esteem, and she does so selflessly. I do not consider my dreams to be lofty.  I wanted to be the first person in my family with a doctorate degree.  I want a successful career in training and development. I want to be a person my family is proud of.  My dream ...