The Superwoman Complex

So I finished my series on commitments and I did better than I expected on all of those commitments.  They are all baby steps, works in progress and to the average person it would seem  as if not much has been accomplished, but trust me, there has been much progress.  Today I'd like to switch gears....I'd like to impart my....ahem...wisdom to this younger generation of workers. Young workers of this earth, there are 5 things that you must STOP doing in the workplace now.  I mean like right now.  These 5 things label you as irresponsible, unreliable and just bad people.  I embellish of course, but not much.  Let me explain.  Last week I spent the entire week minus one day filming young employees DOING THEIR JOB.  Most of them did an incredible job, but some of the interactions reminded me of the same mistakes I have made in the past, hell some of the I still make now.  So here they are, my five things you all need to stop doing for...

Sometimes I feel like a super bad juggler.  I feel like I have several balls: Work, husband, child, school, community commitments, friends, family, housework and financial obligations.  I have all these balls that I try to keep up in the air and at any given time they all come crashing to the floor in a most dramatic flop. Being a working mom and also going to school is hard.  In fact I am not going to sugar coat things, this is the hardest season I have had in my entire life.  Author Jen Hatmaker talks about taking thing on and off of your life balancing beam, but I am currently in a season where nothing can be taken off my beam. What can be frustrating is when people disagree with that statement.  Surely something can be taken off, surely I can find some time to decompress, or to just breathe.  One of those people is even my husband who routinely says that I just don't make time for myself, but is frustrated when I don't have the time to spend with hi...

So I missed my blog post last week.  I am sure everyone noticed and was very sad about that.  First, class started back up again after about 10 weeks of a hiatus with dissertation writing, parting ways with my chair and starting that whole process of finding a new chair.  But none of those are reasons I did not post. The real reason for not posting is that it was my promise to myself to to post and commit to joining and being more involved in a community. I love the idea of making new friends, having that Sex in the City, Golden Girls even Buffy the Vampire Slayer core group of friends to do life with.  I love the idea!! It is not my reality, in fact making new friends freaks me out.  Getting close to friends terrifies me. So the idea of inserting myself into a community is something I avoid at all costs. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of wonderful friends and family, but most of them are not local.  I have my one Colorado person/Family that I feel ba...

So I want to start this post by saying a big huge thank you to those of you who read my rants and comment on them either publicly or privately.  Thanks to you who read and don't comment.  Thanks to you who read at all. I started this blog a little over three years ago to express my journey towards becoming an accredited scholar while juggling life.  That journey continues with some failures and some wins along the way, and for all of you who have followed the journey, whether I know you personally or not, you are a part of my clan. So, lets talk about how this commitment to self is going since I know that you are all on the edge of your seats awaiting an update.  It's going well.  I have adhered to my separation from my wine, and I have learned that it is not hard to give up.  I enjoy more productivity, more stable moods and a higher sense of self worth because the shame that I associated with alcohol consumption has subdued.  I have kept my commitme...

So in my last posting I spoke of a goal I had to post a 4 part series on commitment.  So I plan to do so.  In brainstorming these posts (which consists of my mind wandering a million different directions at the most inopportune times) I came up with the 4 following compartments of commitment that speak to my particular season of life. First and foremost I have made a commitment to self:  personally, spiritually and physically. Commitment to my people, my clan:  This includes my husband, my little man, my extended family and my friends past present and future. Commitment to my community:  More needs to be done in my life to foster community and service to those around me.  This goes hand in hand with my commitment to my clan. Commitment to Work and Education:  I lump these two together because they take almost equal effort lately and both are full time.  These are the areas that I feel need a deeper level of commitment from me in my curre...

How do you cope with a large disappointment? The worry over a child's health? Feelings of inadequacy and guilt, often for things you haven't even done? I'm not asking rhetorical questions....I'm seeking advice.  You see this year was going to be year that I planned to THRIVE.  I would turn in my dissertation proposal to rave reviews, I would be considered the best wife, mother, friend and family member ever. I was going to conquer mom guilt and be the fittest, funnest, most honest version of me. Well four days into the new year and I am already exhausted, deflated and have broken all of the promises I have made to myself. On the second day of the year I opened my email at a stoplight (I know terrible) on my way to a hair appointment.  I was greeted with the devastating news that my committee member thought that my dissertation proposal was NOWHERE NEAR where it needed to be to submit to the review boards. The floodgates opened and I arrived to my hair appointment with...

Well it is that time of year again where we all make promises to ourselves to be thinner, richer, more fun, have more friends and so the list goes. We all know that these resolutions DON'T WORK.  at the end of the first week of the year we have abandoned the ideas that we had and we go back to our normal, self destructive and mundane routines..it sucks, makes us feel bad and leaves us waiting till next year to make the same resolutions.  The exact same ones. This year I challenge the 10 people who read my blog to set goals that they can be held accountable for.  This means a couple of things. Number one, you have to have a plan.  An actual plan, like on paper.  Number two, you have to have a due date, not some ambiguous place in time.  Number three, you have to tell someone and partner with them to reach your goal. Number One: Have a Plan It is not enough to have a resolution, or even a goal if there is no plan in place.  A goal without a plan is...