The Superwoman Complex

I am writing.....and I am reading......and I am writing...... and after an hour I have a pretty decent idea that I am totally lost on what direction I am taking this dissertation.  I am sure my story is fairly common in this dissertation process, but I am tired, I am frustrated and I am procrastinating.  I have set this insane goal of writing 5-10 pages a night, forgetting that I have 2-3 hours between the time I get home and the time I go to bed.  I have managed to write out a table of contents for Chapter 1, in which I have identified that I have at least 5-6 more topics to develop, and then I launch into Chapter 2..........and so far I have a  3 page table of contents, and I am half way done with identifying what I need to write for chapter 2.........sigh.....and more sigh. But of course as always the writing process, however important as it might seem, has taken a back seat to the planning of a Spiderman birthday party, dealing with a petty jerk at work who thi...

I decided what to be for Halloween.  Anyone who knows me knows that this is a big deal.  My 3 year old (next week) decided he wanted to be Spiderman.  This is the first year he has been able to state what he wants to be for Halloween.  This is my favorite holiday, and it is a big deal to me so of course my mind starts to race as to what I can craft as a theme for the entire family.....capes for the dog, a cinch, but what super hero costume is appropriate for a mom who isn't in leotard shape.  I thought about it for a couple months....yes I said months, and finally...Epiphany!!! After 4 days of no sleep an image of myself appeared.  I would be SuperMom!!! But not a Wonder Woman type of SuperMom, more of a realistic look at what the sleep deprived mother of a preschooler, who still has full time work, full time school, and a house to look after.  So here is what my Halloween costume will look like. Tights:   Some obnoxious outdated color because...

Wow! Nine months since my last post....I am such a slacker.  For any of you just trying to do it all I am sure you are not surprised.  Let's see.........what has happened in the last nine months of life.....well.....my house is now empty besides the nuclear family, I have a precarious almost three year old, I got placed on a forced leave of absence with UOP because they cannot seem to get my schedule right, I got promoted at work, and I have been traveling like a mad woman.  In the last nine months I have been to: Chicago, Ill (got to see my amazing Heather Dudley) Pismo Beach, CA (got to see my amazing Alexis Williams) Toronto (had to get a passport for that one) Palm Beach,  Florida (twice) Palo Alto, CA (to visit with Apple) Scottsdale, AZ(to speak at a college) Providence, RI (nothing to report here) Roswell, GA (Ugh Georgia) Cape Cod, MA (that was a cool trip) Minneapolis, MN (somewhere in Middle America) Pelican Bay, FL (trained my first new tr...

Stress can take on many forms, mine has taken to the form of new found issues with anxiety and severe psoriasis.  It is time to regroup, refocus and take some time out for me.....easier said than done as usual. So what do you to do de-stress.  I have googled every technique known to man and many are not conducive to a doctoral learner with 6 mouths to feed; only 2 of which belong to me, a bustling two year old, and the holidays around the corner. One way I have decided to distress is to take a couple of days to run away.  I will be heading to a training a couple days early to take some me time.  I will likely see a friend or two, but this trip is more about finding me again.  I have decided this is necessary so that I do not kill someone. It is extremely hard to admit that I have too much going on, but I definitely have two much going on and my health is beginning to suffer.  I do not want to become unhappy or bitter and so I am finding it necessary t...

It has been quite some time since my last post, and I am still striving to be all things to all people in my life.  You would think that someday I would learn, ha ha.  Well I have to say that it is more taxing, and more rewarding than I ever imagined to raise a toddler.  My two year old "monster" has far more energy than I, and I find myself running out of every resource imaginable.  I run out of time, patience, money, you name it.  At the end of the day I find myself thinking....I have to do this all again tomorrow. School usually suffers the most.  I have to balance the priorities of losing points for  late assignments against learning the functions needed with my new job, or even sleep.  I am attempting to take it all in stride, some days are definitely better than others, but I definitely fail in departments. I find that re-aligning my priorities has become almost a daily task....family is of course always first, so that is a given, but...

It has been a regrettably long time since my last posting. I would love to say that it is because so much has happened, but that is not the case.  A lot has happened in the last couple of months but it is not mind numbing or earth shattering.  Most of it was depressing and a little sad, but we all fought through our trials....at work, financially and even within our own minds, and we feel as if we are on the upward slope again. I am entering my second year as a doctoral student.  Some days I wonder how in the world I will ever get this accomplished, but then I have a class that is enlightening and engaging, and I remember why I am a lifelong learner.  It is hard to balance a family, marriage, career, household and school, but it is well worth it to gain the knowledge and to connect with others that are passionate about learning. It seems as if everyone we know is now on their 2nd child, and so naturally the pressure is on us to have "just one more".  My answ...

At any given time on my computer you can find not only several windows open, but even a couple browsers.  It seems as if I am always toggling between work email in Outlook, research articles in Firefox and personal sites in Internet explorer.  I always have at least 2 spreadsheets, 1 or 2 word documents and several PDF's open as well.  How strange that this parallels my life as well.  It seems as if I am always jumping from one activity to another, trying to balance on one foot and hold my breath all at the same time. Problem is....nothing seems to get done with any efficiency.  This is not an uncommon theme for anyone that I know. We are all busy!! I wonder what would happen if I just STOPPED......................................................................................................................................Phew that was painful, mind racing, heart pulsing, panic setting in...how do I learn to relax? I have tried yoga, usually with a toddler...